06/23/2009
The Skip It List, Part IX
I cannot believe it’s been months since I’ve posted a Skip It List! I feel badly about this, as the series has been so popular.
Considering recent comments, I feel it’s important to start this Skip It List entry with another disclaimer:
As always, the Skip It List Series is by no means meant to persuade brides not to pay for those extras to which they’re committed. It’s simply a means of reassuring those who are on the fence about certain items that not everything is necessary. And it’s always a little tongue in cheek, so please try not to take the list too seriously. I myself haven’t skipped all the items included in the series!
With that out of the way…
Skip It List, Part IX
Spray Tan? Skip It!
If you have snow white skin like me, it’s likely that pop culture is persuading you to get your faux glow on before your big day. Now, I’ll admit, I fell prey to the masses and spent $50 on an airbrush tan a couple days before my wedding. Looking back, I ask myself, “Why?” Why couldn’t I just embrace the pale complexion I was born with like red carpet regulars Michelle Trachtenberg and Evan Rachel Wood?
Had I been confident enough to keep my skin au natural, not only would I have not spent that $50, I wouldn’t have had to buy new makeup, nor would I have ended up looking suspiciously splotchy in our honeymoon pics once the shade began to fade.
Groom’s Cake? Skip It!
The Groom’s Cake is a Southern tradition that I personally haven’t been able to get behind. Cheesecakes have been given has groom’s cakes, but many brides go the real elaborate route, giving their guys cakes designed to look like a certain sports arena, etc. Now, I realize there are exceptions out there, but in most cases, it’s us brides who do the bulk of the pre-wedding work. So on the day of, while we’re giving away our garter and bouquet, why should the groom be the one to get an extra reward? My husband and I did exchange gifts at our wedding (another tradition I don’t see as being a “must”), but I wasn’t about to give him an entire cake on top of the tandem skydive I’d bought for him. If you love the idea of giving a groom’s cake, go ahead and go for it, but if you don’t quite see the point, skip it and no one will miss it (many people haven’t even heard of this tradition)!
The famous armadillo groom’s cake from Steel Magnolias
Professional Photo Album? Skip It!
When signing a contract with a photographer, it can be tempting to commit to purchasing a professional album for an extra thousand or so. But if you don’t have the funds, you can still have an album. Services like Shutterfly and Blurb allow you to create your own albums for less, and receive consistently positive reviews from brides online. Post on your favorite bridal forum to see what others have done in this case, and you’re likely to get a good deal of recommendations and advice.
Wedding album from Shutterfly
Remember, the choice to skip or not is yours! And if you have tips on spray/airbrush tanning, purchasing groom’s cakes, or creating photo albums, please do comment below!
Text posted at 12:32
04/10/2009
The Skip It List, Part VIII
I can’t display any pictures to go along with today’s Skip It List entry. It wouldn’t be appropriate. No, I’m not planning on discussing getting a bikini wax, although it’s true I don’t feel this is a necessary pre-wedding task. Instead, I’d like to discuss two types of photography sessions:
E-Pics and Trash the Dress.
I wouldn’t feel right posting examples of these pics and then saying, “Hey, go ahead and skip this stuff.” So many of these photographs really are gorgeous, and the people who took them deserve due credit and applause rather than being associated with my “skip it antics.” That said, there are some big reasons why I’m putting these two photography sessions on my list.
Let’s do this thing.
Skip It List, Part VIII
E-Pics? Skip ‘Em!!
Taking e-pics, or “engagement pictures,” has become a standard step in the pre-wedding process. I guess I can sort of see why: Many couples use these pictures to decorate their save-the-dates, wedding websites, and…I don’t know…all those other items which serve no necessary purpose.
Okay, here’s the thing. I gotta get honest. Please don’t take this the wrong way.
E-pics make my skin crawl.
Here’s why: They’re like a pile of PDA moments frozen in time. Ever noticed how your friends quickly look the other way whenever you and your fiancé start going at it? Don’t you think this might be a sign that they don’t want to stick a black and white photograph of the two of you making out on their fridge?
If you really want to document your love for each other, the wedding is the time to do so. E-pics of couples staring defiantly into the camera as if to say, “You can’t touch our love so step off,” really don’t make me excited to attend the couple’s wedding.
I can’t help but feel as if the point e-pics is to make me jealous of how stylish the future Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So are strolling hand-in-hand through their neighborhood in their faux casual solid color outfits. I’m not saying everyone receiving your e-pics is thinking this …but I’m willing to bet at least some of them are.
And of course, the bottom line is, you really don’t need them. Your save-the-date recipients should know who you are without having to see a picture of you.
Trash the Dress Pics? Don’t Even Get Me Started!
Okay, it looks like I got myself started. Hm, how did that happen?
I don’t get trash the dress pics. I don’t get them at all. When I see a bride lying in the waves in her Ramona Keveza gown I don’t think, “How breathtakingly artistic!” Instead I think, “How tragic! What a waste!!” And it’s not just a waste of a dress. It’s a waste of money spent on having pictures taken of you wasting money. What part of this makes sense?
If the argument is that these pictures are beautiful, it’s not enough for me. Sure, they may be beautiful in an artistic sense, but what will they mean to you? What part of your wedding day are they actually documenting? My opinion is that they’re not much more than another display of narcissism, only this one is caked in mud.
Please remember that I realize we all have our own opinions. If you do decide to spend money on having pictures taken of you dragging your veil through a swamp, I’m sure you have your reasons. And I respect that.
Text posted at 13:16
03/26/2009
The Skip It List, Part VII
As I continue with the popular “Skip It List” series, I’d like to remind my readers that I am in no way urging you to skip the following items. I’m simply telling you why it’s okay to forgo certain wedding details. As a been-there-done-that bride, I know that sometimes you need an encouraging nudge over the edge in this area.
Sometimes I’ll voice a negative opinion about a specific wedding trend. I hope no one takes such remarks too seriously We all have our own likes and dislikes, and mine can be quirky at times.
Finally, there are some items you just won’t be able to see yourself skipping. Heck, I don’t think I actually skipped half the items I’ve listed so far. But if I had, my wedding wouldn’t have been any worse for wear. Of that, I’m certain.
So, here we go.
Skip It List, Part VII
Bridal Party? Skip It!
Think, oh think of the dollars and drama you could save yourself by choosing not to have a bridal party! There’s no reason why anyone other than you and your fiance needs to be standing before your officiant on your wedding day, and by skipping the bridal party altogether, you won’t have to deal with the following hassles:
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“But I wanted to be the maid of honor!”
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Planning and paying for all that attire
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Finding bridal party gifts that aren’t entirely tacky
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Dealing with a gaggle of girls while you’re trying to get yourself wedding ready
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Taking more and more bridal party pics when you could be enjoying your cocktail hour
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Buying bouquets and boutonnières
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Agonizing over the processional (it’s always more difficult to orchestrate than you think)
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Figuring out who to ask in the first place!
Take a look at this couple. Instead of having bridesmaids and groomsmen stand beside them, they invited up their parents. Do you think anyone’s thinking, “Hm, don’t they have any friends?” No! They’re thinking, “How wonderful! How touching! How romantic!”
Photo by Jon Koch Photography. Check out his website for some truly beautiful wedding photos!
Oh, and don’t forget the upsides to not having a flower girl or ring bearer:
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No crying down the aisle
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No spending on miniature suits, dresses, and accessories
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No picking out pillows or baskets of petals
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And again, no looking for gifts
Garter? Skip It!
Unless you’re actually planning on having your husband crawl up your skirt for all to see, there ain’t no need for a garter. No one’s even going to see it! Of course, this is coming from the woman who just had to wear this on her wedding day:
Hey, I had to include Hello Kitty somehow! I can’t help it. She’s my girl. Just ask the friends who gave us these:
Birdseed? Bubbles? Ribbon Wands? Skip ‘Em All!
I feel pretty sheepish admitting this, but I don’t actually understand how the whole tossing birdseed, etc. at the bride and groom thing really works. Is it done after the ceremony? If so, how do the guests line up outside before the bride and groom exit the church? Hasn’t the couple already left the building by this time? If not, where do they go during the recessional?
In any case, I think articles for your guests to throw at you are a definite “skip it.” Personally, I’d be a bit embarrassed if I had to run through a wall of bubbles with my new husband.
Text posted at 10:03
03/09/2009
The Skip It List, Part VI
Bridesmaid Newsletters? Skip ‘Em!!
I really don’t have harsh words for the bride who assumes her wedding is all the world’s obsession. As a former bride, I know how easy it is to get swept up into a lala land wherein such notions feel perfectly natural. But the truth of the matter is, no one other than perhaps your mother is likely at the edge of her seat waiting to hear which chair covers you’ve chosen. So save yourself some time and everyone else an eyeroll by skipping the cutesy bridesmaid updates. Go ahead and send an email or place a phone call if you need to divvy out instructions or gather input, but there’s no reason to go overboard with the weekly decked out detail newsflashes.
Got something to say? It’s less expensive and much easier to just pick up the phone and dial.
Bridal Bag? Skip It!!
It’s your wedding day. Do you really want to worry about carrying a purse around? It may be tempting to shop for yet another sparkly accessory, but unless you’re planning on shouldering an heirloom clutch as your “something old,” don’t bother spending on this item. Instead, have a friend, venue employee, or day-of-coordinator stash your necessisties somewhere for you, either in their own bag or in a secluded spot behind the scenes.
This purse was pretty inexpensive, but it didn’t get any action. It spent the reception in the bridal suite. So what was the point?
Cake Topper? Skip It!!
There really is no reason why you have to have a cake topper. Any cake will look perfectly elegant without one. In fact, I think some toppers ruin what could be a beautiful wedding day dessert. Take the “ball and chain” ceramic toppers for instance. They have the ability to turn a beautiful cake into a crass joke. If you feel you need something extra to dress up your cake, ask your florist if a few extra blooms can be placed upon its top tier. Often, this can be done for free.
Just a few blooms are all this cake needs. Picture from J. Conner Photography.
Text posted at 21:03
02/25/2009
The Skip It List, Part V
Out of Town Bags? Skip ‘Em!
“OOT bags” are a nice enough gesture, but I promise that if you skip them, no one is going to hold it against you. It’s commonly agreed upon that this recent trend is completely unnecessary. Additionally, the amount of work that goes into creating them is enough to make any already burnt-out bride keel over. Check it out:
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You agonize over what goes in the bags, just like you agonize over every other wedding detail.
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You collect the materials for assembling the bags, but only after changing your mind about their color at least ten times.
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You purchase or make several items for each bag. You bake cookies, scour odds n’ ends shops, write a bunch of little notes …in the end it’s like four DIY projects in one, times thirty.
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You get to work putting the bags together, all the while kicking yourself for deciding to go through with the thing.
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You wonder why you didn’t realize that getting a bunch of bags to people’s hotel rooms the day before your wedding is no small task.
I received an OOT bag at a wedding once, and I must say, the gesture did not go unappreciated. However, my frst thought as I tore into the gifties was, “Wow, this was so totally unnecessary.”
There’s an awful lot of stuff in there …picture curtosey of blissweddingsmarket.com.
Aisle runner? Skip it!
Can someone please explain to me the purpose of an aisle runner? To me, it’s like the equivalent of a plastic furniture cover: It’s usually much tacker than whatever’s beneath it, and it’s protecting something that’s not meant to be protected in the first place. Every time I hear a bride gush over her aisle runner, I get a big, fat “Huh?!?” look on my face. I’m sure some people find them pretty, but does anyone actually find them useful?
This gag-inducing spectacle starts at $200, and is apparently the runner used by Trista and Ryan from ABC’s “The Bachelor.”
Acrylic nails? Skip ‘Em!
I don’t know what onvinced me that I needed a permanent french manicure for my wedding. Not only were the acryllic nails expensive, they were monstrous. Looking back at my pictures, I find them excrutiatingly tacky on me: They’re just not my style. The worst part about them, however, was that they completely ruined my nails once I had them removed. For months and months my nails looked like they had been sanded over by an armadillo. Some women love the look of a permanent french manicure, but if you’re not sure you’re one of them, I would definitely skip this pricey beauty treatment.
It’s so painfully obvious to me that these are not the real thing.
Text posted at 00:04
02/11/2009
The Skip It List, Part IV
I’m back to give you more reasons to stop shelling out money and start skipping certain wedding items altogether!
Don’t forget to check out the previous posts to this series.
SKIP IT LIST, PART IV
Getting Ready Outfits? What’s the Point??
So, you’re really thinking of making your bridesmaids get ready to get ready? As in asking them to change into an identical set of embroidered bathrobes before changing into an identical set of gowns?
Okay, maybe you and your best girlfriends find this trend totally irresistible, and will enjoy rockin’ the robes that much. But if you’re at all on the fence about this one, skip it, I say! What you and your friends are wearing before you walk down the aisle couldn’t have less of an effect on the day’s events.
Finally, let’s face it: Not even you want to see one more picture of a bride and her maids showing off their monogrammed backsides. What’s the point anymore?
Videographer? Skip It!!
I find it funny how the wedding videos most women seem to “ooh” and “ahh” over are basically moving slideshows. No dialogue, no natural sequence of events, just music and vignettes, really. Is it just me, or can you accomplish the same thing using the pictures from your photographer?
The only moments really worth catching on tape are, in my opinion, the few that involve the spoken word, like the actual ceremony and the champagne toasts. You don’t need a professional to see this through. Just stick a camcorder in the hands of one of your friends. You may want the first dance recorded as well, although personally, I’m relieved that no one will have to see ours again!
My teenage brother was the unofficial videographer for our wedding. Employing him didn’t cost a dime, and it gave him something to do (we had no other teenage guests and he was going through a sort of surly stage ). He recorded the ceremony, and while it was a wonderful moment in time, my husband and I have only once played it back. The entire time we were watching it, I was scrutinizing my less-than-perfect posture and the grating sound of my voice on tape. I’ll tell you, I’m glad I don’t have an entire video of myself to cringe over. At least our photographer was able to catch my good side.
My brother, the videographer and one of my beautiful bridesmaids:
Matching Groomsmen Attire? Skip It!!
I could neverunderstand how asking a guy to tell his buddies what to wear down to their argyle socks could possibly go over well. My husband had enough trouble putting his own wedding outfit together. I didn’t want to have to watch him do the same thing for three other men.
We ended up simply asking the groomsmen to wear black suits and white shirts, but even these instructions went over their heads: One guy showed up in a blue button-down. But you know what? Not one of our guests noticed. Not even I noticed, not until we received our professional photographs a month later.
Other than their boutonnieres, which I mentioned in a previous “Skip It” post, the one thing differentiating our groomsmen from the other male guests were their purple ties, which my husband purchased from ebay. I don’t think our pictures suffered from it, not even this one.
Can you spot the blue shirt?
Text posted at 23:06
02/06/2009
The Skip It List Part III
Bouttenieres? Skip ‘Em!!
Most guys don’t like having to put on a suit, so why force them to put on a suit and then pin a flower on themselves, just because you’re getting married? I rather liked our peacock feather bouttenieres, but I’m not sure anyone else remembers them. My husband had such a trying time putting his on that he was wearing it backwards at first. Bouttenieres couldn’t make less of a difference to your wedding in the end, so why spend the extra money? Why???
My husband and his backwards boutteniere:
The guys are trying to figure out how to walk around with feathers on themselves. They look thrilled about it, no?
Guest Book? Skip It!!
How many of your guests do you think are rubbing their hands together and saying to each other, “Wow, I can’t wait to sign the guest book!” That’s right, zero. What is the real point of a guest book? When you’re a guest, it kind of feels like a sign-in sheet at a mandatory work seminar. Is there some reason why you need to take roll later?
If you really want to collect well wishes from your guests, and you don’t feel the piles of cards are enough, there are more creative ways of doing so. We had our guests write notes to us (if they wanted!!) on vintage postcards, which were stuffed in a decorative mailbox and actually mailed to us afterwards. When we returned from our budget honeymoon, the cards were waiting for us.
My husband is an aerospace engineer, so I picked planes for our cards. Who says airplanes can’t be romantic?
Cake Cutters? Champagne Flutes? Please, Don’t Waste Your Money!!
I can’t think of a worse couple of items to spend money on than a cake cutter and a pair of champagne flutes. No one, I repeat, No one, is going to notice whether you’re cutting your wedding cake with an engraved knife. As I mentioned earlier, by this point, most of your guests will be too drunk to realizee hat you’re cutting the cake at all. There are far better keepsakes to hang on to after a wedding than these silly little things. You’d have to be pretty darn sentimental to shove a couple of cheesy champagne glasses into your kitchen cupboards after the honeymoon.
No servingware required:
Text posted at 11:05
02/04/2009
The Skip It List, Part II
So, on to more wedding-related do hickeys that I urge you to skip, skip, SKIP, if you feel like it. As I said in “The Skip It List Part I,” sometimes a bride needs a little extra nudge in order to feel free not to spend money on one more unnecessary extra.
And, without further ado,
SKIP IT LIST, PART II
Programs? Skip ‘Em!!
I felt compelled to hand out programs at our wedding ceremony for two reasons:
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Because my husband is Romanian, our ceremony contained Romanian Orthodox traditions that I wanted our guests to be able to at least somewhat comprehend.
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I needed to get directions to our reception site into people’s hands.
Were it not for these two factors, I wouldn’t have bothered with the programs. They wouldn’t have been worth it. Really, I doubt many people took the time to read the them anyway, although they must have at least glanced at the maps, because they seemed to find their way to the reception venue.
Anyway, let me tell you, these things were a pain to put together. Admittedly, I don’t have the patience for DIY paper products, so trying to get the programs to print correctly was a pretty big headache for me. I also had to put my sister and husband to work for hours in order to get the things assembled on time. Even after all that hard work, I noticed a few excruciating typos within the pages. But again, I doubt anyone read enough of the text to notice.
The best part about making the programs was that we now have some nice, typo-riddled keepsakes in a box somewhere. That, and the programs made for some cute pictures. My husband is an aerospace engineer, in case you’re wondering about the airplane icon.
Posh Transportation? Skip It!!
Maybe it’s because I’m just not that into cars (I don’t even have a driver’s license), but I’ve never understood why some brides obsess over their wedding day rides. How many people are really going to be around to see you get in and out of your car? Would it really ruin your day to show up at your reception in a Toyota? Really?? Renting a Rolls Royce isn’t going to fool anyone. No one is going to believe for a second that you’re taking that car home with you at the end of the day. So keep it real and ride off into the sunset in one of those adorably bashed up vehicles with the tin cans attached. That’s my advice, to you! The pic below is not my own, but rather a very charming selection from photographers Ghislain and Marie David de Lossy.
Wedding Cake? Skip It!!
Like I said before, I love a good wedding cake, and ours (a carrot cake) tasted grrrrrreeeeat, but if I went to a wedding where cake was not served I would NOT turn up my nose. Who cares. Actually, I don’t think very many of our guests put a crumb of our cake in their mouths.
Upon returning to work, one of my coworkers said to me, “Oh, I didn’t get to try your cake!” to which another coworker responded, “Uh, yeah, you did.” So, you see, even those people who did eat the cake were too drunk to remember having done so. You could always pretend you had a wedding cake that people just happened not to notice.
If you’re wondering what a wedding cake top looks like after spending a year in the freezer, it’s not the most beautiful sight. Here’s a peek at ours:
To be continued …
Text posted at 22:44
The Skip It List, Part I
I always see or hear of brides asking,
“Do I need a guestbook?”
“Do I need programs?”
Do I need bathroom baskets?”
Now that my own wedding has come and gone, my mouth hangs open for a bit before I yell, “Of course not!” in response to such queries. But if I concentrate reeeeeeally hard, I remember that when I was in the midst of wedding planning, it was pretty hard to convince me that I didn’t need anything and everything to be a part of my big day.
I needed the personalized coasters.
I needed the organza overlays.
I needed the mashed potato bar.
I needed it all … until the wedding actually came … and then, looking at my new husband and my happy guests, I realized that all I needed was them. And I wondered why Ihad spent so many agonizing hours stacking nests of candied eggs into various ice chests. Looking over my shoulder, I could see those nests lined up nicely along the back table. They were our wedding favors, and not one guest had touched them.
We all want our wedding day to be perfect, so it’s hard not to crinkle our foreheads over whether the wedding will fall flat without personalized champagne flutes. We’d like to go ahead and just skip an item or two, but we’re worried, so worried that in doing so we’ll somehow jinx the whole thing.
That is why I am creating this Skip It List. To tell you as a bride who has been there, done that, and bought really cute soaps for the wedding venue bathrooms, that’s it’s okay. You can skip a little. Or a lot.
SKIP IT LIST, PART I
Wedding Favors? Skip ‘Em!!
We weren’t going to have wedding favors at our wedding, yet, for some reason, we ended up changing our minds. Someone must have hit me on the head the day I decided we should give out favors, because doing so really was a waste of time. You’ve heard it before, but I’ll say it again: Guests won’t miss the favors. In fact, they’ll be glad they don’t have to take home a knick knack they’ll just feel guilty about tossing out later. No one other than my mom’s former boss took home our wedding favors. She stuffed her purse full of them, and I was glad. At least someone appreciated them.
Fancy Shoes? Skip ‘Em!!
Wow, I really think brides spend too much money on their shoes. Unless you’re wearing a short dress, no one is going to see them, so really, what is the point? Ah yes, we all know photographers these days love to take the quintessential bridal shoe pic. But I promise you no one is going to notice if you don’t have a portrait of your heels in your wedding album. Actually, if I see one more wedding shoe picture, I may pass out. I’m that over the things. My suggestion is to wear super cheap-o flats that you can dance in all night long. My shoes were so far from anything special that I actually begged my photographer NOT to take a picture of them! But he didn’t listen…
Sit Down Dinner? No, Thanks!!
One of the biggest ways we saved money on our wedding was by not hosting a sit down dinner. Even if we had put $100,000 into our wedding, I still wouldn’t have had one. I did not want to spend my wedding day staring into a plate of food and listening to a bunch of forks clattering. I wanted to PARTY! Our wedding reception was basically one big cocktail hour, and I’m sooo glad there was no sitting down and munching. I got to spend more time with our guests and more time on the dance floor.
To be continued…
Text posted at 10:30
